run the redlights.

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
- The Carpenters

teacher's day today! haha teacher's day concert was quite good. then cindy, xiang and i decided to cab back to raffles. haha, impromptu decision. 'cause we missed the food there! haha yes so we ate the nice nice rg food! then we walked around the sch to see how much it changed. haha. too bad ms adlina wasn't there. and i realized how much i miss rg and the food! oh and i saw jessica as well! haha.

i'm so dead for my piano exam that's like 5 days away. my whole day tmr will be devoted to my piano.

chan xiang yi is very blur. even if you were to drop her hints of all kinds. she still won't get it. haha. so if you ever want to tell her something, you're wasting your time dropping hints. haha.

ah-ma i want the yearbook! =)

let your heart out.

i'm not going to think about it. why should i think about something that'll make me unhappy right? right. the difficult part now is keeping it out of my head. the thought of it has been creeping back ever so often and i have to think of other stuff to try to block it out. as if i would be able to forget it. not thinking about it for the time being will have to do. i'm not going to think about it, i'm not going to think about it, i'm not going to think about it.

guides yesterday was kinda fun. haha after footdrill we played truth or dare. haha, the question they asked xiang was so predictable! haha. i think xiang's lucky they asked that, if not, imagine the other questions they would ask. and i'll see how she answers them. haha. the question they asked me was so not applicable. and xiangyi actually thinks its funny. crazy girl.

let your heart out.

what a week this has been. had chinese oral, it was alright i guess. jocelyn claims she saw my marks. fell sick mid-week, had to endure lessons despite feeling lousy. received all our results for cts. mine's an array of grades! haha, they range from A to E. for once, my chinese is better than my english! i'm kinda disappointed with my b for eng but oh wells. at least my l1r5 improved so i guess that's a start.

went back to sch today for the p6 open house briefing today. guess who's my partner for the school tour? haha, i bet ah-ma will leave me to do all the talking. anyways, after that, went town with xiangyi and ah-ma. went to watch carey perform. karen was surprised to see xiangyi in a skirt! haha! and xiangyi didn't want to sit down, or rather couldn't. haha. had fun going to lots of shops and trying on clothes. ah-ma didn't want to try anything on though. hmph. so hard to get her into sth. then ah-ma left for ri campfire and xiang dragged me around and around to look for "something". oh man, i bet xiangyi totally had fun today, somewhat at my expense. haha. xiang, you had better be happy. but nvm, it's kinda my duty as your best friend to cheer you up. haha. but next time, it won't be like that anymore! haha.

let your heart out.

this is what's on my bookmark in my handbook:
god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
courage to change the things i can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
i got it at youth alpha some time back and i think it's really meaningful. =)

anyways, attempted to ignore xiangyi yesterday. attempted is the keyword here 'cause i succeeded only until the start of the guide meeting. that's when i started talking to her again. such a failure right? can't even ignore ppl. haha.

i like the results of the two papers we got back today! chinese and physics. for once, i managed to get As for both. =) much better than my maths and chem which are like C, D and E. how nice right. i shall try to work harder for my chem. it can't go on like that forever.

let your heart out.

i need my music therapy. or o.c therapy. or retail therapy. whatever makes me happy again. oh and someone to listen to me when i'm feeling really down.

i seem to be blogging a lot these days. well, i only blog when i'm frustrated or something interesting happened. blah. this is a crappy weekend. it had better get better tmr.

happy birthday yunsan! =)

let your heart out.

this is ridiculous. i need to learn the art of making people feel guilty from xinyuan! how can xinyuan do it so well? all she needs to do is ask like thrice and voila. the only person i can make to feel guilty is deb. and that took like two days? oh goodness. i seriously need to learn it.

my middle name ought to be paranoid instead. but i can't help it! look at what the two of them doing! and this is my two best friends here, of course i feel the need to be paranoid. urgh. one's totally depressed and crazy over___ __________ and the other is doing god-knows-what. ah-ma said it'll have an effect of me on falling in love. haha. at this rate i have to agree.

off to call the people for the legion recruitment drive!

let your heart out.

started this morning feeling very confused. two friends were telling me two different things to do and i had no idea which has right. sorry if i seemed dao or anything this morning, i was kind of thinking. anyways, the day did get better and pretty soon, i was crapping again. we had 4 free periods! haha, no bio and lit.

on yesterday's post, i just needed to let it out. but everything was resolved pretty quickly. and thanks yunsan for listening to me last night! i really needed that! =)

i'm being paranoid even i know that. but i can't help it. and now, there's two matters to worry about! like the previous one wasn't enough. *sighs* i kinda feel left out too, like everyone's moved on but i'm still where i was. i guess it's all for the best when things are like that, i couldn't possibly have another matter to worry about. my usual paranoid-ness will kick in tmr afternoon. i apologize in advance to the ppl who would have to put up with it [most likely ah-ma, anna and deb]. thou shall not freak out that easily. haha.

let your heart out.

got back our chem paper. at least i didn't do as badly as i thought i would. the math d paper yesterday was killer. haha okay maybe not for some, but it was for me. i've already lost 15 marks! hope i didn't make any careless mistake anywhere in the paper!

anyways today, anna was telling everyone that "i can't bite down" since the dentist placed these plastic things on her teeth. when aunty heard it, she was like you cut off your tongue?! and claire was like you can't do lion.. dance?? haha, hilarous.. that was how weird anna sounded; people didn't understand what she was saying.. haha lunch today was funny. deb and me were going on about stalker. haha.

"shall not be bothered". it's easy to say that, but putting the words into action is an entirely different matter and somehow, i can't seem to do it. and even though ah-ma and deb say that (and they might mean it), i just keeping dragging them back into it. i don't know why too. i guess it's 'cause i need someone to talk about it to. and why can't i just let it go? i came to a conclusion that i'm either too much of a busybody or that i'm trying to be a good friend. haha, of course the latter sounds nicer. ah-ma said something just now, i can't remember the exact words but it was totally true. we can do our best to help but if the will is not there, we can't do anything either. then again, are we really helping? or are we just meddling in it when we aren't supposed to? i don't know but i really hope the unimaginable doesn't happen.

[edited at 9.45] i'm sorry if i seemed too harsh but you aren't the only one with problems. just because i'm not in a relationship doesn't mean that i don't have problems. it seems to me that you only sms me when things go disasterously wrong and at other times, i just can't seem to get hold of you for more than a few minutes. i may be wrong, i don't know. i wasn't too sympathetic just now i know but i was kinda irritated. you think only your life 'sucks' and that mine is perfectly alright. well, it isn't.

let your heart out.

my chem is seriously screwed. i couldn't do the calculations at all. 'cause i couldn't remember that one formula! i dread my chem results. urgh. anyways, six down, four to go. for once, chinese was manageable. then again, doing the paper is one thing, the results are another. and somebody had better tell me how to study lit!

i can only hope that tmr would be a much better day. i hope that this weekend would last as long as it can before i head back to the tests on mon and face yet another week of school.

i just realized that every single one of my posts has mentioned something pertaining to that matter.. all except the south divsion one. can't we just turn back time and go through south div day all over again? i miss it!

i guess everyone else gave up a long time ago. and i wonder if i should.

let your heart out.

i don't know what's wrong with me but suddenly i've been calling almost anyone 'idiot' without really meaning it. i mean like i don't mean it in some cases, but for certain cases... or rather a certain case, haha.

yesterday, eventually decided to go town. headed first to cine with anna, ah-ma, amy, yi hui and rachel boey. but the tickets there were sold out. so we went to plaza sing. the queue stretched all the way from the ticketing counters to near the lifts! and when it finally was our turn, the 1300, 1335 and 1400 shows had all been sold out! so we settled for 1550's one. like who would expect charlie and the chocolate factory to be such a hit and sell out so quickly?! haha so it was very riduculous that we had 3 hours to kill after we ate lunch. so we kinda shopped around and later settled behind the pillar. haha, they were laughing at yihui as usual. i bought my silver cross earrings! to make up for the one i lost! and the movie was quite okay. johnny depp's willy wonka was hilarous. haha the people in the theatre gasped when charlie found the golden ticket and anna was like 'didn't they read the book?!' haha.

i shall try to be more understanding. and not act like an immature 10-year-old. but sometimes, it's not as if i can help it. *shrugs* i'm not the only one who has reacted in such a way. i don't know, is this a small matter? maybe it isn't to some. am i just being petty? i seriously don't know. what i know for sure is that i'm not used to it and if it continues on, even if i try to be understanding, i wouldn't be able to take it. in the meanwhile, there's no need to kick up such a huge fuss. yet. i will try to be more understanding.

let your heart out.

i don't feel like going town tmr after national day celebrations anymore.. both deb and xiangyi are not going. hmph. thanks to the two idiots. urgh.

just my luck legion recruitment drive is right smack in the middle of my cts. and even the preparation for it is just before my cts! and i have to keep telling myself that i have to balance both and that i still need to study for my cts!

let your heart out.

this is so crap. tmr we have to go back to sch for extra chem lesson together with c3. i don't mind going back but i dread getting back my chem paper. i seriously hope i'm not the lowest in class. then at least mrs chia won't come after me. haha.

anyways today, was supposed to go town with xiangyi 'cause she wanted to buy some stuff [a present]. but in the end we didn't 'cause i couldn't. so we're most probably going on mon instead. together with anna, deb and ah-ma. haha, i hope i won't get killed because of this. haha.

i guess it's responsibility to think of the extreme. i doubt i'm the one with trust issues. haha.

nothing much else to blog about.. busy weekend yet aagain. shall blog more another day.

let your heart out.

emptiness. disappointment. and possibly a tinge of hurt.
i was not in the best of moods but hey, we can't do everything right? i guess it's time to take the backseat. i'm never going to take them seriously ever.

what clearly stands out of today's incidents is deb's statement. it sounded so much like she was cussing [which naturally, she wasn't] that anna and i kept laughing. it was just the use of the word 'bloody'. haha. i ought to get deb to repeat that line for us again some time.

foreseeing what will happen is not enough, brace yourself.

i forgot to add that legion outing on sun was a whole lot of fun! haha =)

let your heart out.

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